Well I went on the Dr Oz Show and talked about the blog. It’ll air March 6th and you all should watch it, it’s important. They offered me a stay at Shades of Hope in TX (I know- crazy) and I’m going. I don’t want to to be honest, but everyone says I should. I don’t think I have a problem! You’ll see on the show, I’m still massive. But they say they’ll help me lose weight without starving. I bet it’ll be much LESS weight, but still. They’re supposed to help. I’m so nervous. There were two 30 year olds who were both about 5’10” and 70 lbs on the show too, and they’re both going (as far as I know.) Brittany was the girl with me, but she’s gained 20 lbs and is up to 112 so she doesn’t think she needs to go. I’m really scared about it, and I know it’s gonna be really hard, but I’m so glad I got this opportunity. It scared the shit out of me and it should scare the shit out of you too. Watch, March 6th- Dr. Oz. The show is called “Dying to be Thin.”

Anyways, I’m hopefully never coming back here. If you genuinely like me as a person follow my actual blog, prosegarden.tumblr.com, though I’ll be in Texas for the next three months anyway. Oh well.

You’ve all helped me in so many ways, I want to help you too. Please message me on prosegarden if you ever want to talk about anything. Like I said, I’ll be away for awhile, but I’ll be back! And with lots of help for exactly this sort of thing. (Hopefully.)

Wish me luck, ladies! xx

3 bites of banana bread — 50(?)
a slice of pizza — 360

total: 410

Not completely bad, but I felt so obese yesterday. I’ve decided to tell you all because I can’t keep it a secret any longer though: I’m going to NYC tomorrow morning to be on The Dr Oz Show. They’re doing a show about thinspo blogs and they found mine and asked me to come on so I am. I want to help people. And help myself. We’ll see how THAT goes though. :s I’m so awkward. Kinda freaking out about it though so wish me luck! I’m so so so so so so nervous! x

Yesterday I was doing pretty well, I had only eaten 200 cals and wasn’t even hungry, but then I started getting ~emotional~ at night so R went out and got me Ben&Jerry’s and I ate probably half the container, like at least 600/700 cals. Disgusting. So I did 400 crunches this morning and it was such a stupid, stupid idea coz I massively threw my back out the other day (probably the Snookie exercises) and it just… it was a bad idea. Like it’ll feel ok for a bit, but moving at all is just a wreck, the lower right side of my back feels like I have a knife sticking out of it even though there’s nothing there.

But yeah, today J made me eat some banana bread, but I only had a couple forkfuls and told him I didn’t want anymore. (I did, it was so good- but oh well) So if I don’t eat for the rest of the day I’ll be pleased coz I ate wayyy too much yesterday and something big is happening at the end of this week BECAUSE of this blog and I don’t want to be all bloated and shit for it. But I’ll tell you more about that later. Just… my thinspo blog got found in a big way. :o ><